A Gun Guy Goes to Disney World

I took my family to the Happiest Place on Earth, which also is a very anti-gun place

I didn’t really think about the gun thing when my wife and I were booking a Disney World trip for my kid’s spring break week. Truthfully, I was so wrapped up in planning the trip that “the gun thing” didn’t even occur to me at all until we were a few days out. You see, the official policy of Walt Disney World and its resorts on firearms, and in fact any weapons at all is as such:

Q: Am I allowed to bring a firearm to Walt Disney World Resort?

A: No. Guests are not permitted to have firearms, ammunition, knives or weapons of any kind at Walt Disney World Resort. This includes, but is not limited to:

• Theme parks

• Water parks

• Disney Springs

• Disney Resorts Collection

• Disney Vacation Club Resorts

Now, I know there are a lot of people who have the attitude that they won’t go places that won’t let them carry. I’m not one of those people for a number of reasons, the primary being something that a good friend of mine said once: “Don’t let your desire to protect your life make you live a life that isn’t worth protecting.”

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So What did I Do?

I followed the rules, mostly. We were staying in a Disney Resort, and I had read stories online of people who tried to leave guns in their hotel rooms and got busted which results in a ban from Disney, and I’m not about to risk that. I’ve got a small child who is definitely going to want to go back. So the gun? Left it behind. However, I did bring a good folding pocket knife and a can of POM pepper spray with me for when I wasn’t going to actually be in the park. With a little bit of training, a good knife and some pepper spray can solve a significant number of self-defense problems.

During the day when I’d actually be in the parks, the knife and spray were simply zipped up inside my suitcase, out of sight out of mind. Housekeepers are specifically trained to not go through guest’s luggage, so I wasn’t worried about accidental discovery. The knife came in handy for cutting tags and plastic ties off the gazillion dollars in merch we bought for the kids, but if you don’t want to risk even that, just bring some sharp scissors.

Bringing Weapons in Disney Parks

Here’s the simple answer: don’t. Disney’s security is actually exceptional, and is well set up for processing large numbers of people while simultaneously detecting weapons. Interestingly, their security posture is specifically constructed to detect weapons, and is largely unconcerned with things like external alcohol. Honestly, we should fire the entire fucking TSA and let Disney take over airport screening. Life would be a breeze, but that’s another post.

I’m not going to blow their whole setup, but if you’ve ever done a bunch of physical or installation security, you know what to look for, and they have really good security measures in place beyond just the scanners and guards at the various entry control points. Additionally, the Orange County Sheriff’s Office has an entire sector that is devoted just to Disney, which is pretty impressive when you think about it.

Could you defeat their security measures with something like a G10 blade deep concealed? I don’t know, but let’s say you did. To what point and purpose? If you’re that dependent on a tool to defend yourself, your mindset is probably fucked.

Creating a Defensive Plan

Now, just because you can’t get weapons into the parks doesn’t mean you go into condition white and surrender yourself to the tender mercies of OCSO and Disney Security. You are still responsible for your safety and your family’s safety. The best way to do that is to have an emergency plan, which accounts for a lot of different scenarios. If you have small children, you don’t want to scare them and say “if there’s an active shooter” but what you can say is “if there’s an emergency like a fire and we all need to leave really fast, here’s what we’re going to do.”

For the sake of this emergency plan, let’s assume there are two adults taking care of two small children. The first thing we do is establish which adult is responsible for accounting for the children. Then the other adult is responsible for taking point and finding a path to the safest possible exit. This could include exits and areas not normally available to guests, like cast/crew exits or backstage areas. Prior to entering the park, both adults need to agree on a pre-planned rally point if they do get separated, and if we’re being super paranoid a back-up rally point if the primary is burned.

If there’s an emergency and you’re stuck in a line for a ride, find the nearest exit point. Thankfully, federal law requires exits to be sprinkled all through the lines for the rides.

The second part of your defensive plan is just being observational. People behave in specific patterns in theme parks, and if you see someone whose behavior doesn’t match that pattern, the first thing you can do is get the F away from them, and the second thing to do is tell someone. I know “if you see something, say something” is trite, but in this case it applies.

Nothing in this plan at all impedes your ability to have fun or enjoy the parks, either. It’s just a little bit of planning for a situation that has an extremely low probability of occurring.

The Most Important Thing

All the pre-planning is important, because it gives you an advantage. If there is an emergency, you know what to do. This is especially important because in a real emergency, people are going to fucking panic. They’re going to run pell-mell in whatever direction they want, they’re going to freeze, they’re going to do all sorts of dumb shit that will cause problems. That panic is infectious, and the most important thing you can do is not let it get to you. You’ve got a plan and it’s a good one, so you’re going to act on it. People can lose their shit all around you, but because you’re a smart and thoughtful person, you’re not going to lose your shit.

That’s it. Oh bring some medical gear with you as well, because you’re far more likely to watch a guy go into cardiac arrest or trip and fall than you are be a part of a mass casualty event, and I can say for a fact that Disney Security doesn’t care if you have a medkit and 35 tourniquets in your backpack with your snacks.

The bottom line here is simple. Don’t try to get cute with security. Follow the rules, have a great time. Don’t let a dependence on tools keep you from being prepared, and that dependence make you the sort of person who won’t go anywhere fun because they can’t carry.

I had a blast at Disney, and my 6 year old had an even better time than I did. The look on his face after riding Space Mountain for the first time was worth everything.